{"product_id":"dessert-table-funny-christmas-ornament","title":"Dessert Table Fatass\" | Funny Retro Ceramic Christmas Ornament","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"1074\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen the dessert table whispers... and you answer.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0\"\u003eThis retro-inspired ceramic ornament delivers the brutally honest holiday truth your tree has been begging for. Featuring glamorous ladies caught in a moment of festive weakness (we've all been there), this piece blends old-school charm with modern-day sass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eChoose Your Vibe:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eModern Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a contemporary, colorful illustration style.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eVintage Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a classic, softer 1950s painted look.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0,0\"\u003e\u003ci\u003eBoth serving attitude, both guaranteed to steal the spotlight.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhy You Need It:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eThe Joke:\u003c\/b\u003e \"I saw you at the dessert table, you fatass.\" (It's what the ornament says, not us!)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eThe Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e 3\" glossy ceramic that looks expensive even if your diet choices weren't.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eThe Reaction:\u003c\/b\u003e Instant laughter (or side-eye) from guests.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eProduct Specs:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e High-gloss ceramic ornament.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003ePrint:\u003c\/b\u003e Vibrant double-sided design.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 3\" diameter (Round).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/b\u003e Gold hanging string for instant decor.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eCare:\u003c\/b\u003e Wipe gently with a soft, dry cloth.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Crowned Syndicate House Rules:\u003c\/b\u003e Every ornament is made to order—it doesn’t exist until you decide it should. Because of that holiday miracle, \u003cb\u003ewe don’t offer returns or exchanges\u003c\/b\u003e for buyer’s remorse or last-minute mind changes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Exception:\u003c\/b\u003e If your ornament arrives broken or looking like it lost a bar fight with Santa’s sleigh, send us a clear photo and we’ll make it right. No hoops. No drama.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Modern","offer_id":47741788291323,"sku":"73251439723964702323","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage","offer_id":47741790716155,"sku":"16621405971398579320","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0757\/8340\/5819\/files\/1_21cb0590-6984-478b-a232-5d5d8e6ac34c.jpg?v=1764563034","url":"https:\/\/thecrownedsyndicate.com\/products\/dessert-table-funny-christmas-ornament","provider":"TCS","version":"1.0","type":"link"}