{"product_id":"polish-off-eggnog-funny-ornament","title":"\"Polish Off The Eggnog\" | Funny Retro Aluminum Ornament | Snarky Holiday Gift","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003eHoliday chaos? Handled. Holiday cocktails? Prioritized.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003eThis retro-inspired aluminum ornament brings peak festive attitude with a wink. Featuring a vintage housewife who has clearly decided that the only way to get through the in-laws is with a very strong drink, it’s the perfect mix of humor and sass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhy It's a Holiday Essential:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eThe Vibe:\u003c\/b\u003e \"I love my family, but I love this drink more right now.\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\n\u003cb style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eThe Material:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e Ultra-lightweight aluminum that won't weigh down your branches.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\n\u003cb style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eThe Look:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e High-gloss finish that makes the retro art pop.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\n\u003cb style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eDouble-Sided:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e Because the truth should be visible from every angle\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\n\u003cb style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e The exhausted hostess, the friend who needs a drink, or your own tree as a badge of honor.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eMaterial: Gloss aluminum\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eSize: 3.31\" round\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003ePrint: Double-sided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eFinish: Vibrant, full-color gloss\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eIncludes: Red ribbon for hanging\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003eCare\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1405\" data-end=\"1408\"\u003eWipe clean with a soft, damp cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product__description rte quick-add-hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Crowned Syndicate House Rules:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eEvery ornament is made to order—it doesn’t exist until you decide it should. Because of that holiday miracle,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003ewe don’t offer returns or exchanges\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efor buyer’s remorse or last-minute mind changes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Exception:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eIf your ornament arrives broken or looking like it lost a bar fight with Santa’s sleigh, send us a clear photo and we’ll make it right. No hoops. No drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47175872577787,"sku":"23322470755514344621","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0757\/8340\/5819\/files\/Hero_19d6cf53-d09e-4415-be30-4b9a18a1bb3d.jpg?v=1764178854","url":"https:\/\/thecrownedsyndicate.com\/products\/polish-off-eggnog-funny-ornament","provider":"TCS","version":"1.0","type":"link"}