That Dress Makes You Look Trashy | Savage Retro Ornament | Petty Holiday Decor | Funny Gift for the Vain & Vicious

Passive-aggressive? Please. We’re just aggressively correct.
The ornament for those who decorate like they shade—flawlessly.

Description

Nothing says “Merry Christmas, darling” quite like a well-placed insult disguised as a compliment.
This glossy aluminum ornament celebrates the fine art of saying what everyone’s already thinking—just with better diction and diamonds.

Perfect for anyone who’s ever smiled sweetly while loading a verbal grenade into the conversation.

Who It’s For:

• The friend who compliments your outfit with an asterisk.
• The one who’s mastered the tone of “bless your heart.”
• Anyone who can serve holiday cheer with a side of damage control.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Matte Aluminum, Maximum Petty: Shines like your ego under good lighting.
• Vintage Drama: Retro-inspired design dripping in old-Hollywood cattiness.
• Includes Red Satin Ribbon: Ready to hang—preferably above your ex’s stocking.
• Crowned & Crafted: Designed by The Crowned Syndicate, where snark meets sparkle.

Specs:
Material: Aluminum
Finish: Matte front, brushed back
Size: 3.94" × 2.76" × 0.04"
Print: One-sided
Care: Wipe clean (preferably with your tears of superiority).

Fine Print:
Made to order—no returns, no exchanges, no apologies.
If it arrives damaged, we’ll fix it faster than you can say, “It’s couture.”